So my parents have been at me for ages about doing one of these... I guess the thing that held me back was... Well, primarily, I didn't know how to. Turns out you get one with your Gmail account - who knew?
Anyway, probably, the thing that really stopped me was, I didn't think anyone would really care. Realistically, if I'm totally honest, who'd be bothered to read the convoluted, inner workings of my mind? Well... Two hundred and twenty thousand people apparently.
If you're not aware, I recently constructed an ad to sell my friend's ex-wife's wedding dress on the online marketplace Gumtree (please see the link: http://www.gumtree.com.au/s-ad/bradbury/wedding/wedding-dress-for-bride-seeking-eventual-infidelity/1048655543). Just in case the ad has expired, I included some screenshots of the ad below:
It ended up going viral and within a couple of days, had worldwide media coverage.
Cast aside all the media aspersions around "revenge" and "settling the score" - this wasn't an eye for an eye scenario. It was (and is) nothing more than a few of us making light of and having a laugh at a shitty situation that occurred, what seems now, a lifetime ago.
However, after the barrage of text messages and emails I received from the viewers of the ad regarding the dress and its messy history, it quickly became apparent to me that this sticky ending to a marriage was all too common.
And it got me thinking... ALLEGEDLY (I love that word, because it basically gives you the license to say absolutely anything you want after it), the current divorce rate is as high as one in two. Fifty per cent! If you put a slight twist on the number crunching and assume that there is precisely an even number of people, ever, in the world and go as far to say that there is someone for everyone... Then that means (based on the one in two stats) that either you or your significant other will end up divorced. From this, we can now safely deduce that the divorce rate is a conservative one hundred per cent.
But seriously, overlooking my creative mathematics, the stats are scary. I hear "oldies" harping on about how this is the generation of disposability - you never fix anything anymore, it's all throw away and buy a new one. I guess if that's true, there's no reason why that mindset can't have (unintentionally or otherwise) transposed over to our relationships too.
I think that it is more so today's generations don't perceive marriage the way the older ones do. I've read a lot of the comments on the media Facebook pages that ran my Gumtree ad (mostly because I like to do shit and then take a back seat and just observe), and there were a few questioning the amount of heat (or lack thereof) "the friend" received in all this. A fair point. My reasoning behind this was because I couldn't get the flow the ad required if I included:
"A dim witted fellow who clearly puts the thoughts of his wiener first and foremost and also takes pleasure in spending his spare time emotionally patting his newly separated friends on the back, before returning, loyally to his newly acquired girlfriend."
Aside from the fact that at the time I wasn't selling any of his belongings.
Watch out world - there's a couple out there void of emotional conscience in a "committed" relationship that is morally bankrupt. And unfortunately, as alarming as it is, they're not the only ones.
Basically, the moral to the story is don't be a whore. And if, in the unlikely event that you DO need to be a whore - don't be one with your husband's friend. It's not cool.
Stay tuned - the next one will be when I can think of something to write again (it could be tomorrow - it could be in a month).
Peace out.
Dman.
